


Here We Go Again

by bumbleebees



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: (alix is ace grayro), Chatting & Messaging, F/F, F/M, I’m so bad at tagging, M/M, Trans Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, adrien be ace pan, also she’s pretty gay, alya is also bi, au where chat accepted lb’s rejection and they are Best Bros, chloé is a lesbeean, everyone is pretty gay tbh, i support ace aro alix but also ace grayro alix, kagami and luka will show up, kagami is a queen we don’t deserve her, kim is totally pan, mari is VERY bi, max? gray-ace what a lad, nino? questioning king whom we STAN, somewhen, viperion more like bi-perion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2020-12-16 10:03:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21034472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bumbleebees/pseuds/bumbleebees
Summary: feline fur-tunate: meowdy y’all are you ready to go feral on this akumalocal homiesexual: what the FUCK did i just read





	1. hi welcome to mirac-donalds

**Author's Note:**

> dab  
i wrote this all at like midnight excuse my bullshittery pleas 😔👌
> 
> —
> 
> feline fur-tunate - chat noir  
bugsy malone - ladybug  
local homiesexual - queen bee  
oh hey its firefox - rena rouge  
shell-ebration - carapace

**[ mirac-donalds || 9:45pm ]**

**feline fur-tunate:** meowdy y’all are you ready to go feral on this akuma

**local homiesexual:** what the FUCK did i just read

**oh hey its firefox:** theres

**oh hey its firefox:** theres too many puns

**oh hey its firefox:** @shell-ebration come and embrace me in my last moments on this forsaken earth

**shell-ebration:** feeling a little catty today??

**oh hey its firefox:** NO

**feline fur-tunate:** hey rena i’m just gonna be real quick and uhhh

**feline fur-tunate:** steal your boyfriend

**oh hey its firefox:** hes yours youve already corrupted him

**shell-ebration:** chat i’m hurt i thought we were married :(

**feline fur-tunate:** omg my love i’m so sorry :((

**bugsy malone:** ok lads we get it ur secret lovers now can we PLEASE FIGHT THIS AKUMA

**feline fur-tunate:** of course but that doesn’t mean i’m not gonna validate my husband along the way

**local homiesexual:** and people think we’re fucking organised

**shell-ebration:** we try

**oh hey its firefox:** we tried so hard

**oh hey its firefox:** and came so far

**oh hey its firefox:** but in the end

**feline fur-tunate:** IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTERRRR

**bugsy malone:** A K U M A

**feline fur-tunate:** THAT MATTERS THOUGH SO LETS GOOOOO

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 10:02pm ]**

**local homiesexual:** IM SORRY DOES THIS AKUMA HAVE BEYONCÉ MERCH AS A WEAPON

**feline fur-tunate:** THEY’RE ALL SINGING LOVE ON TOP WHAT DID YOU EXPECT???

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 10:35pm ]**

**bugsy malone:** the lucky charm is a fucking WIG

**oh hey its firefox:** DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO GIRL

**oh hey its firefox:** GO SNATCH THAT LEGENDS WIG

**feline fur-tunate:** IM CRYING WHAT IS THIS AKUMA BATTLE

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 11:28pm ]**

**oh hey its firefox:** i cant believe someone got akumatized over a diss track

**local homiesexual:** but it was a beyonce diss track

**bugsy malone:** idk about u

**bugsy malone:** but id get akumatized for beyoncé

**local homiesexual:** big mood

**oh hey its firefox:** hmmmmm ngl but SAME

**feline fur-tunate:** if beyoncé were hawkmoth i’d give her my miraculous

**bugsy malone:** oh same

**feline fur-tunate:** she’d use them for a good cause

**oh hey its firefox:** yeah she would

**shell-elebration:** undeniably

**local homiesexual:** bold of you to assume beyoncé would even stoop as low as to hurt people when just her voice alone could win all of us over

**bugsy malone:** mhm true that

**bugsy malone:** beyoncé would bring world peace in seconds

**feline fur-tunate:** but instead of a queen we got some sad, lonely ex-wrestler going through an extreme midlife crisis who likes to threaten teenagers with murder and total destruction alongside his sugar baby who throws feathers at people

**oh hey its firefox:** i mean hey so long as shes makin money i aint judgin

**feline fur-tunate:** i’m not either but then would you wanna be hawkmoth’s sugar baby?

**shell-elebration:** maybe he’s paying off her student loans you never know

**bugsy malone:** “ be my sidekick and i’ll pay off your student loans “

**local homiesexual:** “ ok papa hawkmoth “

**feline fur-tunate:** PAPA HAWKMOTH

**oh hey its firefox:** DADDY HAWKMOTH IN THE HOUSE

**feline fur-tunate:** hawkmoth probably is someones dad though

**feline fur-tunate:** hes just got that dad vibe

**bugsy malone:** but who would get down with hawkmoth

**local homiesexual:** mayura

**oh hey its firefox:** mayura

**shell-ebration:** mayura

**feline fur-tunate:** mayura

**bugsy malone:** valid point

**shell-ebration:** what would his kid even be like tho

**bugsy malone:** imagine going to bed cuz ur sick and then at 2pm u hear ur dad screaming about akumatising a baby

**feline fur-tunate:** twice man

**feline fur-tunate:** he akumatized a baby TWICE

**local homiesexual:** it was bad enough to first time

**shell-ebration:** at least it didn’t really do much tho

**shell-ebration:** cause it was a baby

**bugsy malone:** yeah u right

**bugsy malone:** then again the dark owl was like a day-long lsd trip

**feline fur-tunate:** you aren’t wrong there bugs

**feline fur-tunate:** simon says was WILD

**bugsy malone:** honestly thought that was a fever dream

**local homiesexual:** S A ME

**oh hey its firefox:** when i saw guitar villain i was convinced that it was another fever dream

**shell-ebration:** akumas are either “ oH GOD OH SHIT OH GOD WHY “ or “ ah yes- the baby “

**feline fur-tunate:** honestly i’m convinced i’ve been in a coma since stoneheart and none of this is real

**bugsy malone:** stop getting existential at midnight we have TALKED about this i will not hesitate to find your house, make you some fucking hot COCOA, TUCK YOU IN AND KISS YOU GOODNIGHT YOU SILLY BASTARD

**local homiesexual:** ladybug is the friend we all need

**bugsy malone:** LET ME MAKE YOU SOME FUCKING TOAST AND SEND YOU TO BED

**feline fur-tunate:** you can’t stop me when you don’t know where i live so HAH

**feline fur-tunate:** BESIDES YOU DON’T SLEEP EITHER I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS

**bugsy malone:** NEITHER WILL I YOU STINKY BITCH

**feline fur-tunate:** BUGS I WILL BREAK INTO YOUR HOUSE, KISS YOU ON THE CHEEK, GET YOU A NICE COLD GLASS OF WATER AND GIVE YOU THE SOFTEST BLANKETS WHILST TELLING YOU GOOD NIGHT

**bugsy malone:** DONT THINK I WONT DO THAT FIRST CHATON

**feline fur-tunate:** IS THAT A CHALLENGE

**oh hey its firefox:** this is real friendship guys take notes

**bugsy malone:** MAYBE IT IS

**shell-ebration:** its been less than an hour and we’ve had like twenty different conversations

**feline fur-tunate:** I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE BECAUSE WHEN WE GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER OUTSIDE OF THE SUITS I SWEAR ON HAWKMOTH’S BANK ACCOUNT I’M GONNA MAKE YOU SLEEP SO COMFORTABLY THAT LIFE’S ONLY MEANING WILL BE THE SWEET RELEASE OF SLEEP

**bugsy malone:** I ACCEPT AS WELL AND UR GONNA SLEEP SO FUCKING SOUNDLY THAT ONLY THE SWEET BIRDS CHIRP SHALL BE YOUR ALARM CLOCK, U DIRTY BASTARD, YOU SMELLY FOOL

**shell-ebration:** i love mirac-donalds

**feline fur-tunate:** BUGS YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND AND I’M SO GLAD YOU WOULD DO THAT FOR ME THANK YOU

**bugsy malone:** ITS OK CHATON UR MY BEST FRIEND TOO I LOVE YOU

**feline fur-tunate:** I LOVE YOU TOO NOW GET SOME SLEEP

**bugsy malone:** YOU TOO DUMBASS

**[ bugsy malone and feline fur-tunate left mirac-donalds ]**

**local homiesexual:** god i fucking love this family


	2. hawkmoth and the dad vibes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh hey its firefox: i say something and then i remember what i said like an hour later
> 
> oh hey its firefox: example i told my five year old sister that god was coming for her shins after she ate an entire tub of marshmallows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fORGOT TO ESTABLISH SO UHHHH
> 
> \- chloé has nOt exposed herself as queen bee and didn’t almost kill like, 100 people just to prove herself to her mom  
\- chat knows who queen bee is but not who rena rouge and carapace are  
\- i’m gonna get as many miraculous users in here as i can (yes that does probably mean ships galore)

**[ intense slapstick comedy || 3:54am ]**

**bugabi:** hey chaton ur my main stinky bitch i hope u know that

**pun-romantic:** sniff i feel loved

**pun-romantic:** you’re my main bitch too bugs uwu

**bugabi:** owo

**pun-romantic:** ◕ ◡ ◕

**bugabi:** ∪ ◡ ∪

**pun-romantic:** ≧◡≦

**bugabi:** ●ᴥ●

**pun-romantic:** bUGS THAT IS

**pun-romantic:** AHH

**bugabi:** have u found a new meaning

**pun-romantic:** ●ᴥ● ●ᴥ● ●ᴥ●

**pun-romantic:** yes yes i have

**pun-romantic:** can you sense my JOY

**bugabi:** ur a radiant sunshine ur joy hits me harder than a truck

**bugabi:** chat noir: a man who’s day is made by a ●ᴥ●

**pun-romantic:** i have good tastes ●ᴥ●

**bugabi:** u kno theres one with ears right

**pun-romantic:** THERE IS

**bugabi:** ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

**pun-romantic:** AHH HVFH H

** ____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 4:30am ]**

**feline fur-tunate:** ahem

**feline fur-tunate:** ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

**feline fur-tunate:** that is all

**shell-ebration:** ah yes

**shell-ebration:** this is the one thing i needed at 4 in the morning

**bugsy malone:** ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

**bugsy malone:** yes yes u did

**local homiesexual:** hey do you two ever fucking sleep

**feline fur-tunate:** sleep? never heard of her

**bugsy malone:** pfft who needs sleep when you have two jobs

**feline fur-tunate:** see bugs gets it

**shell-ebration:** is this why you drink coffee every patrol

**local homiesexual:** i mean i respect anyone who can handle that much work but dear GOD FUCKING SLEEP

**feline fur-tunate:** haha no

**feline fur-tunate:** i mean i’ve got one job with my dad but the hours are long and then there’s school and everything else that i do

**bugsy malone:** big mood

**bugsy malone:** one job is with my parents but the other one is a personal thing and tHEN SCHOOL

**shell-ebration:** you two have some skill if you deal with that every day damn

**shell-ebration:** i’ve only got an odd job here and there no wonder you got the main miraculous

**local homiesexual:** ^ he isn’t wrong

**bugsy malone:** lol thanks

**feline fur-tunate:** we try our best

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 11:35am ]**

**oh hey its firefox:** ok i know its school and all but

**oh hey its firefox:** i say something and then i remember what i said like an hour later

**oh hey its firefox:** example i told my five year old sister that god was coming for her shins after she ate an entire tub of marshmallows

**oh hey its firefox:** then i just left and went to school

**feline fur-tunate:** that’s

**feline fur-tunate:** that’s exactly like you but rena wHY

**oh hey its firefox:** i dont KNOW IT JUST HAPPENED

**oh hey its firefox:** i hope she didnt cry or my moms gonna kill me and throw me in a blender for extra emphasis on the fact that i suck

**local homiesexual:** i’m still deciding if i should be proud or disappointed

**shell-ebration:** babe you’re a bully

**oh hey its firefox:** i know im working on it :(

**oh hey its firefox:** i didnt MEAN to sound like i was threatening her with what was to come as a result of her sins

**oh hey its firefox:** im just so used to talking like that with you guys and my other friends it just happens

**local homiesexual:** mood

**shell-ebration:** oh BIG mood

**feline fur-tunate:** i told my dad “ well lets go get that bread “ during an awkward silence and now i’m too scared to look at him

**local homiesexual:** htrfsha

**shell-ebration:** my husband is a fool

**feline fur-tunate:** :(

**oh hey its firefox:** chat you dumbass

**oh hey its firefox:** its ok hes a boomer he wont understand

**feline fur-tunate:** his assistant gave me a loaf of bread this morning

**feline fur-tunate:** i still lowkey wanna cry or laugh or both

**bugsy malone:** was it good bread tho

**local homiesexual:** lb is the only one who pays attention in class yet she gave in when bread came up

**bugsy malone:** im a simple woman ok

**feline fur-tunate:** of course its good bread it’s from the dupain-cheng bakery!!

**oh hey its firefox:** oh FUCK yeah this man speaks the truth

**shell-ebration:** i’d die for their food and also the entire family

**local homiesexual:** okay yeah it’s a damn good bakery

**feline fur-tunate:** the dupain-chengs are the best and i would exclusively die for marinette

**oh hey its firefox:** marinette is the girl we dont deserve

**bugsy malone:** mm yeah i can admit their pastries? heavenly my kwami loves them

**bugsy malone:** marinette seems pretty nice and cute never really met her tho

**feline fur-tunate:** i hang out with her on her balcony like twice a month

**feline fur-tunate:** you should come bugs she’s super nice!!

**bugsy malone:** i dont know if i’ve got time but i can try :/

**oh hey its firefox:** CAN I COME

**feline fur-tunate:** UHH OF COURSE??

**shell-ebration:** hey i wanna come too!!

**local homiesexual:** is there food each time?

**feline fur-tunate:** yes

**local homiesexual:** i’m coming

**bugsy malone:** the news headlines if u get seen

**bugsy malone:** ‘ gaggle of heroes found hanging out with local teen ‘

**feline fur-tunate:** she is a source of free hugs and pastries and video games, no reporter can stop me from going there

**oh hey its firefox:** big mood

**oh hey its firefox:** i have simple wants and they are pretty boys, pretty girls and good food

**bugsy malone:** same

**shell-ebration:** same

**feline fur-tunate:** same

**local homiesexual:** i’ll take 2/3 of that

**oh hey its firefox:** breaking news just in: all of the miraculous team loves a pretty girl and good food- 4/5 also love a pretty boy

**local homiesexual:** how is any of that shocking

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 5:17am ]**

**feline fur-tunate:** hey if ducks had hands instead of webbed feet do you think they would have thumb wars to assert dominance

**local homiesexual:** i’m going to throw you in the river seine if you don’t shut up this very instant

**shell-ebration:** but what if they arm wrestle

**local homiesexual:** DON’T ENCOURAGE HIM


	3. akuma here, akuma there, akumas goddamn everywhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bugsy malone: aight guys this is viperion
> 
> bugsy malone: treat him the exact same as everybody because ur all my bitch babies
> 
> local homiesexual: time to be a professional asshole, then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i like all ships but  
:) lukadrien is totally gonna get set-up (and tbh probably kagaminette as well when shes in here)
> 
> i love them all

**[ intense slapstick comedy || 6:43am ]**

**bugabi:** hey chat so ur my main man

**pun-romantic:** indeed i am bugs ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

**bugabi:** great cause ur the only one whos met viperion and i need ur opinion

**bugabi:** should i add him in or nah???

**pun-romantic:** YES

**pun-romantic:** i mean uh yeah totally he’d be a great addition to our chat with the others mhm

**bugabi:** woah ur excited about this

**pun-romantic:** hey viperion was cool!

**bugabi:** u say the same thing about everybody lol

**pun-romantic:** because it’s true nwn

**bugabi:** sunshine boy

**pun-romantic:** oh yeah what do you think about ducks with hands??

**bugabi:** if they have long enough arms theyd totally arm wrestle for dominance

**bugabi:** but i mean if its JUST hands thumb wars all the way

**bugabi:** do u think they fistbump

**bugabi:** are we just ducks with hands

**pun-romantic:** ohMy god

**pun-romantic:** you’re a genius

**bugabi:** ikr

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 10:09am ]**

_[ bugsy malone added viperion to mirac-donalds ]_

**bugsy malone:** eyo @everybody get on here

**bugsy malone:** is it @Everybody

**feline fur-tunate:** no idea but i’m already here bugs ·ᴥ·

_[ viperion, local homiesexual, shell-ebration and oh god its firefox joined mirac-donalds ]_

**bugsy malone:** aight guys this is viperion 

**bugsy malone:** treat him the exact same as everybody because ur all my bitch babies 

**local homiesexual:** time to be a professional asshole, then 

**viperion:** amazing welcome committee, 11/10 

**shell-ebration:** queenie no >:( 

**local homiesexual:** queenie yes 

**oh hey its firefox:** welcome to hell viper it only gets worse from here 

_[ viperion changed their name to viperactive ]_

**viperactive:** this is gonna be devilishly fun, then 

**feline fur-tunate:** i smell a pun 

**local homiesexual:** what have you done 

**viperactive:** this is the best decision i’ve ever made 

**viperactive:** totally unbeelievable, amirite? 

**shell-ebration:** and comes forth the reckoning 

**local homiesexual:** one punner was enough 

**feline fur-tunate:** that’s impawsible, queenie 

**viperactive:** you’re kitten me 

**shell-ebration:** and now they’re working together 

**local homiesexual:** queenie what have you dONE 

**bugsy malone:** i have so many regrets immediately 

**feline fur-tunate:** are you gonna call claw enforcement on us, bugs? 

**viperactive:** puns must really bug her 

**shell-ebration:** i’m lowkey screaming 

**viperactive:** are our puns undershelling chat? 

**local homiesexual:** someone end this horrible start to a saturday 

**feline fur-tunate:** i guess they are viper 

**feline fur-tunate:** i don’t think they’re that shab-bee, though 

**local homiesexual:** aDSTHVUHH 

**oh hey its firefox:** sorry not sorry to interrupt the puns but someone mentioned an akuma near the louvre on the ladyblog 

**bugsy malone:** ill go sort out viper’s miraculous, keep them busy until we get there 

**feline fur-tunate:** well, we better go prevent a catastrophe! 

**viperactive:** can’t have anything too unfurtunate happen 

**local homiesexual:** for FUCKS SAKE 

**____________________**

**[ intense slapstick comedy || 10:38am ]**

**punromantic:** ok bugs you’ll always be my favorite but GOD i fucking LOVE viperion already 

**punromantic:** is he a temporary user or full-time?? 

**bugabi:** i mean tbh he wouldnt be a bad choice for permanent alongside the others 

**bugabi:** just gotta give it some time u know?? 

**punromantic:** yeah i get that 

**bugabi:** still i cant believe hes as much of a punner as u 

**punromantic:** carapace can be punny but he has never made that many in such a short amount of time 

**punaromantic:** and what can i say? the way to this kitty’s heart is a quality pun 

**bugabi:** hes won u over so fast chaton 

**punromantic:** i have a pun friend now bugs 

**punromantic:** you can’t blame me for this powerful newfound friendship 

**bugabi:** i really cant judge u 

**bugabi:** u just have a secret power of being everybodys friend 

**punromantic:** it’s my high charisma stat uwu 

**bugabi:** lmao 

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 4:57pm ]**

**feline fur-tunate:** hawkmoth KNOWS its a sunday but then he’s just like “ uhhhhh can i get an uhhhh äkümä “

**bugsy malone:** i like how with rena akuma alerts are serious but with u its literally just a different meme every week

**feline fur-tunate:** what can i say? i’m a man of culture

**bugsy malone:** one time u just sent me a list of pastas and then said “ oh yeah theres an akuma but i really just wanna know which is the easiest one to cook “

**viperactive:** all of them?

**feline fur-tunate:** i never had a chance to cook anything before then don’t bully me ●︿●

**local homiesexual:** honestly same my dad HATES me being independent

**local homiesexual:** i try to do stuff and then he just drags me away and does it for me

**oh hey its firefox:** controlling parents are ew

**feline fur-tunate:** very ew

**feline fur-tunate:** but uh! anyway akuma!!

**feline fur-tunate:** carapace was already here so we just need you guys

**bugsy malone:** on my way chaton

**local homiesexual:** we all are

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 1:03pm ]**

**oh hey its firefox:** when we find out who hawkmoth is i am going to squash him 

**oh hey its firefox:** this man must have nothing to do but i however have a history test that is VERY important 

**shell-ebration:** you ever just sat down and then bam 

**shell-ebration:** akuma 

**feline fur-tunate:** i was just going to sleep one time after two days of all-nighters 

**feline fur-tunate:** then hawkmoth whipped out one of his butterflies 

**viperactive:** did you get a chance to sleep after that? 

**feline fur-tunate:** do espresso shots count as sleeping? 

**bugsy malone:** im sorry are u saying u pulled three all-nighters 

**feline fur-tunate:** my dad didn’t notice i hadn’t slept so its a win win! 

**shell-ebration:** bro do i need to knock you out so i can make sure you sleep 

**feline fur-tunate:** i was fine!! i only passed out for a little bit! 

**viperactive:** WHAT 

**feline fur-tunate:** besides that was ages ago, it hasn’t happened too recently 

**bugsy malone:** new plan: we all defeat hawkmoth so chat can have a normal sleep schedule 

**shell-ebration:** i support this movement 

**viperactive:** same 

**oh hey its firefox:** me too but lets beat this akuma and THEN beat him up 

**feline fur-tunate:** you really don’t have to worry i’m fine! 

**viperactive:** you passed out and your dad didn’t notice you were even tired that is noT FINE 

**feline fur-tunate:** let’s just talk afTER the akuma 

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 7:24am ]**

**local homiesexual:** i’m going to exploDE WHY ARE THERE SO MANY AKUMAS THIS WEEK

**viperactive:** because hawkmoth is a bully

**feline fur-tunate:** biggest understatement of the year

**bugsy malone:** yeah hawkmoth is a long-distance bully get it right


	4. i’m your dad now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> viperactive: chat it is 5am and i don’t care if i don’t know your identity i WILL break into your house and make sure you sleep soundly for the next week
> 
> feline fur-tunate: oddly threatening yet also strangely loving
> 
> feline fur-tunate: i like it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> debating between slow-burn and speedy romance is suPER hard man

**[ mirac-donalds || 7:35pm ]**

**bugsy malone:** hey chaton does ur costume actually have claws or is that just a weird aesthetic thing

**feline fur-tunate:** oh yeah those are claws!!

**feline fur-tunate:** i used to have long nails out of the suit but then i remembered that they take a lot of care and are really hard to write with :/

**feline fur-tunate:** and since i don’t really write much as chat, claws are cool to have!

**bugsy malone:** thats so valid oh my god

**oh hey its firefox:** i wish i had claws

**feline fur-tunate:** they can get kind of annoying with screens, though

**viperactive:** i think they’re cute :)

**feline fur-tunate:** ◕ ◡ ◕

**local homiesexual:** wait does that mean i could have wings

**feline fur-tunate:** maybe?? idk plagg just said you get what you desire or something like that

**feline fur-tunate:** i didn’t really pay attention and he’s preoccupied with my broken cabinet so i won’t get an answer

**bugsy malone:** queenie u could always just ask pollen

**local homiesexual:** uhh i totALLY thought of that myself

**local homiesexual:** pollen was just busy

**local homiesexual:** i’ll just ask her now!

**viperactive:** that’s just totally

**local homiesexual:** DON’T

**bugsy malone:** unbeelievable

**feline fur-tunate:** un-bee-lievable

**viperactive:** unbeelievable

**viperactive:** oh my god we got ladybug

**feline fur-tunate:** thE RARE PUN

**bugsy malone:** a miraculous pun

**local homiesexual:** i’m going to Cry

**feline fur-tunate:** I KNEW YOU’D COME AROUND EVENTUALLY

**viperactive:** only rena and bee are left

**feline fur-tunate:** soon

**local homiesexual:** are you threatening me i will sue you

**local homiesexual:** I’LL SUE ALL OF YOU

**bugsy malone:** look at queenie

**bugsy malone:** able to afford a lawyer

**viperactive:** bold of you to assume i even know where the nearest court is

**feline fur-tunate:** bold of you both to assume that i can’t afford our own lawyer

**bugsy malone:** now we can have a real settlement

**local homiesexual:** i want custody of our imaginary kids

**viperactive:** the imaginary kids love us more

**local homiesexual:** HOW DARE YOU ASSUME THAT JEMIMA HASN’T PICKED FAVORITES AND THAT I’M THAT FAVORITE

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 5:09am ]**

**feline fur-tunate:** hey you ever have insomnia and then whenever you try and sleep there’s just a pretty boy in your dreams

**feline fur-tunate:** just me? thats pretty sad lads

**viperactive:** chat its like 5am why are you awake

**feline fur-tunate:** why are you awake??

**viperactive:** cause i just woke up

**viperactive:** this is just my normal friday morning

**feline fur-tunate:** oh that’s valid

**feline fur-tunate:** i just haven’t slept

**viperactive:** holy shit SLEEP

**feline fur-tunate:** i can’t!!

**feline fur-tunate:** i’ve got a pretty boy™ on my mind and insomnia on the daily grind

** viperactive:** chat it is 5am and i don’t care if i don’t know your identity i WILL break into your house and make sure you sleep soundly for the next week

**feline fur-tunate:** oddly threatening yet also strangely loving

**feline fur-tunate:** i like it

**feline fur-tunate:** i can try but i probably won’t be able to since i wake up for school in like

**feline fur-tunate:** thirty minutes

**viperactive:** thirty minutes is better than nothing :(

**feline fur-tunate:** your pleas are convincing

**viperactive:** if hawkmoth sends out an akuma i am buying you coffee before the fight

**feline fur-tunate:** i want a cappuccino then

**feline fur-tunate:** and a croissant uwu

**viperactive:** i’ll just get everybody croissants then it’s fair game

**bugsy malone:** wait omg can u get me a latte if hawkbitch shows up

**feline fur-tunate:** lmao hawkbitch

**viperactive:** @everyone do you all just want coffee

**local homiesexual:** YES dear god

**local homiesexual:** i’ll literally have anything so long as its got sugar

**oh hey its firefox:** throw a mocha at me pleasse

**shell-ebration:** hot chocolate?

**feline fur-tunate:** we all out here being caffeine addicts then theres just carapace

**shell-ebration:** i have standards you stinky man

**viperactive:** i’m buying myself something then because why not

**viperactive:** also wow NONE of you sleep

**shell-ebration:** i slept

**oh hey its firefox:** me too!

**oh hey its firefox:** i just got summoned by coffee

**bugsy malone:** hey if vipers buying us all coffee does that make him the hawkmoth to our mayuras

**viperactive:** what the fuck

**feline fur-tunate:** hey sugar daddy hawkmoth was a one time thinG

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 8:35am ]**

**local homiesexual:** what a shocker theres ANOTHER akuma

**bugsy malone:** viper u better have those coffees

**feline fur-tunate:** and croissants!!

**viperactive:** i’ll get them on the way don’t worry

**bugsy malone:** ur a blessing

**viperactive:** i know

**____________________**

**[ intense slapstick comedy || 12:34am ]**

**pun-romantic:** hey bugs you ever uhhh

**pun-romantic:** caught feelings in just a few days

**bugabi:** at least 50 times

**bugabi:** kitty have u caught feelings

**pun-romantic:** listen viperion is just hot, nice, funny, wonderful, an actual angel and i’m hopeless

**pun-romantic:** he winked at me when he gave me my cappuccino and there was a little cat drawn on it with “ hope its pawsitively purrfect! “ next to it

**bugabi:** oh damn

**bugabi:** ok yeah if i weren’t crushing like a madwoman on someone and viperion did that for me?

**bugabi:** insta feels

**pun-romantic:** i mean i liked him from the beginning but aHsyaeydh i am going to Scream and wake up my dad

**pun-romantic:** “ hey dad i know i already came out to you but i have a crush on a snake boy and i want to hold his hand and kiss him under the moonlight “

**bugabi:** i can see it now

**bugabi:** dad noir just sits at his desk, listening as his sunshine boy talks about this superhero that he wants to smooch

**bugabi:** dad noir wonders if hes trapped in a fever dream

**pun-romantic:** dad noir must never know

**bugabi:** is he one of those “ dating is illegal “ dads

**pun-romantic:** well i mean he banned one of my friends from hanging out with me so

**pun-romantic:** i wouldn’t be surprised :(

**bugabi:** :(

**bugabi:** dont worry im ur dad now

**bugabi:** and if my son wants to date the slithery boy then i say let it happen

**bugabi:** ill even get u another loaf of bread, son

**pun-romantic:** omg bugs no

**bugabi:** lets go get that bread, son

**pun-romantic:** i’m trying to picture my dad saying that and

**pun-romantic:** all i hear is a boomer

**bugabi:** am i a boomer now

_[ bugabi changed their name to boomerbug ]_

**pun-romantic:** NO

**boomerbug:** did u yeet that akuma good, son

**pun-romantic:** i’m gonna cry oh my god

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 1:47am ]**

**bugsy malone:** hey guys im officially chats dad now

**feline fur-tunate:** ideyihdwyg

**bugsy malone:** go get that bread my boy

**oh hey its firefox:** for a second i thought lb really was a boomer

**shell-ebration:** a horrifying thought


	5. what a bad ashumption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryuko: ..Hawkmoth is a what now?
> 
> bugsy malone: OREYSETTERG
> 
> local homiesexual: hi ryuko welcome to the next episode of “ will hawkmoth pay my student loans? “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)
> 
> pegasus/pegase, bunnyx and monkey king/roi singe are gonna appear soon shhhhhhhhHhhh

**[ mirac-donalds || 6:28am ]**

**bugsy malone:** hey guys did we ever organise this weeks patrols because im alone rn 

**local homiesexual:** oh shit we didn’t

**oh hey its firefox:** i can patrol today!

**shell-ebration:** i can take tomorrow if you want :D

**bugsy malone:** dw we can sort it out later

**bugsy malone:** kinda surprised chat didnt ask to come tho

**viperactive:** i’m pretty sure he’s asleep for once

**local homiesexual:** chat? asleep at 6am? the world’s coming to an end

**viperactive:** we were talking for a bit then he just sent me “ shfsssssssdddd;:fsrttgji “ an hour ago so i’m just gonna guess he fell asleep

**shell-ebration:** either that or he’s just died from a caffeine overdose

**oh hey its firefox:** UHH I SURE HOPE NOT

**oh hey its firefox:** then id need a new friend to teach memes to :( poor uneducated man

**bugsy malone:** chat is my irreplaceable main bitch excuse u

**bugsy malone:** like sorry to u all ur still my hoes but i couldnt replace that stinky bastard

**viperactive:** no one has the same chaotic lawful energy

**viperactive:** paris would never be the same

**shell-ebration:** i hope he’s just passed out though :(

**shell-ebration:** just imagine him making a pun about dying to caffeine though

**local homiesexual:** it’s in his nature he’s probably gonna make at least ten on his deathbed

**bugsy malone:** when that chat illusion got cataclysmed i shit u not he said “ i guess he made a bad ashumption about miss fortune “

**oh hey its firefox:** oh my god

**shell-ebration:** everybody: oh gOD HES DEAD WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE

**shell-ebration:** chat: lol he made a bad ashumption

**viperactive:** i can’t tell if that’s the best or worst timing for a pun

**bugsy malone:** he also chanted “ just keep swimming “ for like three minutes when we were looking for syren and that?

**bugsy malone:** thats valid

**oh hey its firefox:** chat is a precious bastard and im sure wed all die for him

**bugsy malone:** damn right

**viperactive:** of fucking course

**shell-ebration:** who wouldn’t die for him tbh

**local homiesexual:** there are only four people i would die for and chat is one of them

**____________________**

**[ intense slapstick comedy || 11:23am ]**

**pun-romantic:** bugs can you be my real dad please :(

**boomerbug:** what did dad noir do to my son

**boomerbug:** ill fight him for ur honor

**pun-romantic:** please don’t beat up my dad!

**pun-romantic:** i’ve just been at work all morning and i’m tired and sore and then he’s just like “ hMmmmmMm why doesn’t my son look prEsentablE “

**pun-romantic:** like sorry daD but i’m fucking sweaty from standing in the sun for hours and i would like to shower and not hear someone talk about how you can see my binder since my shirts not 100% buttoned jftderg

**boomerbug:** chat noir swearing? in this economy? unheard of

**boomerbug:** its ok son ur a beautiful boy, unbutton that shirt all the way because u deserve to cool off

**boomerbug:** also go fucking shower u stinky fool

**pun-romantic:** ladybug: a woman of two natures

**pun-romantic:** the new dad noir and a bully

**boomerbug:** me: i love my son look at him- he is a sunshine

**boomerbug:** also me: u stinky bastard- u utter fool- look at me and ill turn u into salt

**pun-romantic:** bugs are you secretly plagg

**boomerbug:** i cant believe it

**boomerbug:** u just worked out my secret identity

**pun-romantic:** i know i’m an intellectual

**boomerbug:** im just a humble cat kwami whom craves cheese

**pun-romantic:** real girl by moonlight

**pun-romantic:** absolute monster by daylight

**pun-romantic:** beating hawkmoth in every fight

**boomerbug:** she is the one named boomerbug

**pun-romantic:** see this is the friendship i’ve needed my whole life

**pun-romantic:** where have you been hiding

**boomerbug:** in the cat miraculous duh

**boomerbug:** but u kno whats really important right now

**pun-romantic:** what?

**boomerbug:** that u go shower and have a cold glass of water u stinky man

**pun-romantic:** smelly boy

**boomerbug:** sweaty bastard

**pun-romantic:** nasty bitch

**boomerbug:** stanky ho

**pun-romantic:** putrid thot

**boomerbug:** srsly tho go fucking shower

**pun-romantic:** ok dad

**boomerbug:** drtfiug

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 7:43am ]**

_[ bugsy malone added ryuko to mirac-donalds ]_

**bugsy malone:** now we stand the test of time to see if she shows

**feline fur-tunate:** soon hopefully

**feline fur-tunate:** i have like a mile long list of dragon puns i need her to see

**local homiesexual:** corruption is illegal you either enter the game a punner or die every time one is made

**oh hey its firefox:** see queenie gets it

**feline fur-tunate:** was i born to pun

**local homiesexual:** why is that even a question

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 12:04am ]**

**shell-ebration:** hey do you think i could convince hawkmoth to be my student loan sugar daddy in a few years

**oh hey its firefox:** but then you have to work for him

**oh hey its firefox:** babe id have to beat you up

**shell-ebration:** i’ve already come to terms with that

**bugsy malone:** his got his hands full with mayura tho

**shell-ebration:** i’ll make an opening

**bugsy malone:** i wonder how it even went down

_[ ryuko joined mirac-donalds ]_

**bugsy malone:** “ hello hawkmoth sir i saw u had applications open for ‘ ill be ur sugar daddy if u fight teenagers with me ‘ and boy howdy am i interested “

**ryuko:** ..Hawkmoth is a what now?

**bugsy malone:** OREYSETTERG

**local homiesexual:** hi ryuko welcome to the next episode of “ will hawkmoth pay my student loans? “

**ryuko:** I’m conflicted as to how I should feel about this

**local homiesexual:** aren’t we all

**feline fur-tunate:** i can’t believe sugar daddy hawkmoth was ryuko’s first introduction to all of us

**feline fur-tunate:** what did i create

**bugsy malone:** its ok it escaped in a fit of passion whilst stanning beyoncé

**ryuko:** Beyoncé is wonderful

**shell-ebration:** SHE’S PERFECT

**viperactive:** all miraculous wielders have two things in common

**feline fur-tunate:** we’re all pretty gay

**local homiesexual:** we all love beyoncé

**viperactive:** yes

**ryuko:** I suppose I’ll fit right in, then

**bugsy malone:** welcome to the gang, we have coffee and croissants on the rooftops every saturday

**oh hey its firefox:** we just gotta get more coffee next time

**shell-ebration:** wait ryuko what kind of coffee do you want

**ryuko:** So long as it’s early enough and 60% caffeine, I’ll drink it

**viperactive:** she really does fit right in


	6. y’know, like, nya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> feline fur-tunate: i’m a simple little kitty
> 
> feline fur-tunate: all i want is to eat good food and kiss a pretty boy on the eiffel tower
> 
> viperactive: does that make me a cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chat just keeps getting gayer

**[ mirac-donalds || 10:35pm ]**

**local homiesexual:** ok this has been on my mind for months and i’ve gotta say it

**local homiesexual:** hawkmoth’s fashion sense is absolutely disgusting

**shell-ebration:** the suit looks ok i guess

**feline fur-tunate:** he looks like he broke into someone’s house and just wore whatever combination of clothes he picked up

**local homiesexual:** i know right?

**bugsy malone:** i mean like

**bugsy malone:** its practical but so?? ugly???

**feline fur-tunate:** honestly the man could’ve just gone with a tailcoat and a normal mask like the rest of us

**local homiesexual:** nah instead he went “ hURRRR BIG BALACLAVA,,,, HEHEHE IM GONNA WEAR A SUIT TO LOOK LIKE A BUSINESSMAN HURRDURRRR “

**ryuko:** Is this normal?

**feline fur-tunate:** also the colors are just?? so ugly???

**viperactive:** yeah you just kind of get used to it

**bugsy malone:** UGH SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS

**bugsy malone:** but then again u take one look at his akumas and just understand this mans sense of style is Not Good

**local homiesexual:** name the ugliest akumas in 3, 2, 1

**feline fur-tunate:** style queen looked like a five year old girl’s dolls after a sleepover

**bugsy malone:** tbh frightningale

**bugsy malone:** she hurt my poor innocent eyes

**local homiesexual:** i took one look at gigantitan and my retinas were gone

**local homiesexual:** also i appreciate that chat has the balls to call a fashion critic unfashionable

**local homiesexual:** like that’s super valid

**bugsy malone:** she was more annoying than anything tbh but chat u werent even therE

**feline fur-tunate:** i’m sorry i was turned into an ugly gLITTER STATUE

**feline fur-tunate:** my last view of the world was an ugly ass glittery barbie doll

**bugsy malone:** GROSS

**feline fur-tunate:** I KNOW

**local homiesexual:** i think stormy weather was just like, the best looking akuma

**feline fur-tunate:** yeah you’re not wrong

**bugsy malone:** thats not looking too good in hawkmoths design books

**bugsy malone:** aside from mr ‘ im gonna beat up teenagers ‘ tho

**bugsy malone:** mayura looks cool but the fuckin train/cape is sUPER impractical

**feline fur-tunate:** she ever gets too close just step on it

**local homiesexual:** i mean yeah i have heels but at least i don’t have a fucking five foot cape that announces my presence no matter where i go

**bugsy malone:** she speaks the truth

**feline fur-tunate:** indeed

**shell-ebration:** guys it is MIDNIGHT

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 3:45pm ]**

**feline fur-tunate:** i’m so lonely :(

**bugsy malone:** oh same

**viperactive:** aren’t we all

**local homiesexual:** yea

**ryuko:** Undeniably

**shell-ebration:** unlike you losERS i have a girlfriend

**shell-ebration:** jk i love all of you

**oh hey its firefox:** you dumbass singles all have our support

**local homiesexual:** i just wanna hold hands with a pretty girl

**local homiesexual:** but no pretty girl wants to hold mine umu

**ryuko:** I relate

**ryuko:** :(

**feline fur-tunate:** you used an emoticon! you’re learning well

**bugsy malone:** im so proud

**bugsy malone:** also yeah i just wanna hold hands with somebody too

**viperactive:** same

**feline fur-tunate:** i’m a simple little kitty

**feline fur-tunate:** all i want is to eat good food and kiss a pretty boy on the eiffel tower

**viperactive:** does that make me a cat

**viperactive:** because that’s all this man wants to do

**feline fur-tunate:** yes welcome to the cat army

**local homiesexual:** too many pretty boys out there

**local homiesexual:** gimme a beautiful girl with a great personality and a wonderful smile

**ryuko:** I agree!

**ryuko:** ヽ(´▽｀)ノ

**bugsy malone:** ohm y god ryu uve stolen my heart

**local homiesexual:** she learned so fast omg i’m gonna shed a tear

**feline fur-tunate:** aaA

**viperactive:** it’s so cute what the Fuck

**shell-ebration:** adhcj

**oh hey its firefox:** we love you ryuko

**ryuko:** (≧◡≦)

**bugsy malone:** eguudsgb;gujlvshkg

**oh hey its firefox:** i cant believe ryu has the sheer power to kill ladybug

**feline fur-tunate:** *kill the entire team

**ryuko:** Whoops

**____________________**

**[ intense slapstick comedy || 5:12pm ]**

**boomerbug:** heryugefyhhurrr

**boomerbug:** ive claimed ur title of falling fast and hard because

**boomerbug:** ohh myg od

**boomerbug:** my little heart cant take it chaton

**pun-romantic:** no one’s heart can take it bugs

**pun-romantic:** my heart is claimed by another but ryu is a queen

**pun-romantic:** you should go for it when you’re ready i believe in you

**boomerbug:** i believe in u too my good sir

**boomerbug:** my feral fellow

**pun-romantic:** i’m still in gay panic mode

**pun-romantic:** but yes i believe in you my heckin homie

**boomerbug:** a lifetime ago i was a confident distinguished bi

**boomerbug:** now im just a fucking disaster

**pun-romantic:** oh same

**pun-romantic:** except i never convinced myself i was distinguished

**pun-romantic:** i couldn’t lie like that

**boomerbug:** lmao

**pun-romantic:** one time i met a boy at the park and i asked him to marry me

**pun-romantic:** i was 5 and boy howdy that was a great wedding

**pun-romantic:** we had a pigeon officiate for us then he kissed my cheek and ran away

**pun-romantic:** i’ll always remember you tiny boy who married me whilst his mom got ice cream

**boomerbug:** what the fuck thats adorable

**boomerbug:** i wish i married a random kid in the park smh

**boomerbug:** when i was 7 i kissed my girl best friend and said ‘ were dating now ‘

**boomerbug:** we dated for a week and then fuckiNG JEAN STOLE HER

**boomerbug:** fuck you jean

**pun-romantic:** what a classic 7 year old move

**pun-romantic:** fuck you jean >:(

**boomerbug:** her name was esmée

**boomerbug:** love u esmée

**pun-romantic:** i nEVER KNEW MY CHILDHOOD HUSBAND’S NAME

**boomerbug:** OH MY GOD

**pun-romantic:** he probably said it but i

**pun-romantic:** i don’t remember it :(

**pun-romantic:** i’ve betrayed him

**boomerbug:** imagine that u are this boy chat has forgotten and u just see chat noir in ur window

**boomerbug:** ‘ are we still legally married bro ‘ he looks nervous, so u say yeah ‘ cool what the frick is ur name?? ‘

**pun-romantic:** i probably lost him to jean :(

**boomerbug:** fucking dammit jean

**pun-romantic:** but what if i married jean

**boomerbug:** u got cucked by jean over jean

**boomerbug:** cant trust nobody, not even urself

**pun-romantic:** that just means jean picked jean over me and you know what?

**pun-romantic:** i’m ok with that

**pun-romantic:** jean was probably a ho anyway

**boomerbug:** ur speaking nothing but the truth

**pun-romantic:** i’m gonna go marry a real homie in the park

**pun-romantic:** like viperion

**boomerbug:** the man u deserve

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 7:53pm ]**

**viperactive:** hey if i’m a cat does that mean i can

**viperactive:** y’know

**local homiesexual:** don’t you dare

**shell-ebration:** viper no

**viperactive:** like, nya

**local homiesexual:** aHDIEYYETYFH I’M GOING TO STRANGLE YOU

**viperactive:** nya (●´ω｀●)

**local homiesexual:** FHFUSGHIFYUCJKFHJ


	7. name? bunnyx. job? lovin women

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bunnyx: man i love wombats
> 
> bunnyx: WOMEN WOMEN I MEANTWOMEN
> 
> local homiesexual: it’s ok bun chat announced his relationship by saying “ i haVE A BEEFERNDS “
> 
> feline fur-tunate: SHUT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh look it got  
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ g a y e r  
and even more  
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ d i s a s t r o u s

**[ intense slapstick comedy || 11:39pm ]**

**pun-romantic:** BAG

**pun-romantic:** *BIG

**pun-romantic:** **BURGER

**pun-romantic:** ***BAGUETTE

**pun-romantic:** AFGFYU

**pun-romantic:** DAD

**boomerbug:** u summoned me son

**boomerbug:** what is it u need my boy

**pun-romantic:** I HABE A BOYFRIEND

**boomerbug:** WHJAT

**pun-romantic:** in a fit of gay panic i just asked viper to come to the coffee rooftop

**pun-romantic:** then he showed up and i tripped on my own feet and fell on my face

**boomerbug:** u dumb kitty

**pun-romantic:** i know :(

**pun-romantic:** anyway he helped me up and then he fuckin

**pun-romantic:** he fuckinf said “ i guess you’ve fallen for me ;) “

**pun-romantic:** the wink was important don’t @ me

**pun-romantic:** then i just stared for a minute and said “ yeah “ beCAUSE GAY PANIC OK

**pun-romantic:** and then other stuff happened so now we’re going on a date!

**pun-romantic:** tomorrow

**boomerbug:** did this other stuff involve puns and u just dont want me to bully u and ur boyfriend

**pun-romantic:** just because i said he was ‘ absolutely fang-tastic ‘ and that he’s ‘ purr-fect ‘ does nOt mean you can judge me

**pun-romantic:** plagg played toxic when i got back judge him

**boomerbug:** i cant judge plagg u fool

**boomerbug:** i am plagg

**pun-romantic:** dammit you’re right

**pun-romantic:** how did i forget smh

**boomerbug:** ignoring that tho im proud of u!!

**boomerbug:** even if u were in gay panic u made that gay panic work for u

**boomerbug:** good job son

**boomerbug:** wait how are u even gonna go on a date without revealing ur identities?

**pun-romantic:** you question the power of sunglasses, bugs?

**pun-romantic:** jk we were just planning on keeping it lowkey in public

**pun-romantic:** we might tell each other our identities? who knows

**pun-romantic:** i’ll be careful don’t worry uwu

**boomerbug:** yes stay safe my boy

**boomerbug:** i know he wont hurt u hes a good man

**pun-romantic:** now it’s just your turn to ask out ryu

**boomerbug:** sHHH

**pun-romantic:** lol

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 9:46am ]**

**feline fur-tunate:** ahem

**feline fur-tunate:** i hAVE A BEEFERNDS

**feline fur-tunate:** *boyfriend 

**feline fur-tunate:** that is all uwu

**local homiesexual:** i was gonna say ‘ how did chat get a date before i did ‘

**local homiesexual:** but then i remember that he’s a sunshine and i am not and it all starts making sense

**viperactive:** it’s ok you’ll get a girl one day

**feline fur-tunate:** i believe in you

**bugsy malone:** we all do

**bugsy malone:** be the lesbeean u wanna be

**local homiesexual:** can’t even be mad at the pun

**local homiesexual:** i’ll find me a girl one day

**oh hey its firefox:** anyway tho chat welcome to the ‘ aHh we have dates ‘ club

**shell-ebration:** exactly 3/7 miraculous wielders are part of it

**shell-ebration:** very exclusive

**feline fur-tunate:** actually it’s 4/7

**oh hey its firefox:** wh

**viperactive:** :)

**local homiesexual:** OH

**oh hey its firefox:** well diddle my damn

**shell-ebration:** :o

**viperactive:** he really fell for me

**feline fur-tunate:** sdhshs shut up

**viperactive:** you’re still holding my hand thus i know you’re not mad at me ;)

**feline fur-tunate:** >:(

**bugsy malone:** wait if u guys are standing next to each other wHy are u texting

**feline fur-tunate:** because i’m sharing my annoyance

**viperactive:** i’m only speaking the truth uwu

**feline fur-tunate:** just because i trippED AND FELL ON MY FACE DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN BULLY ME

**oh hey its firefox:** i can see it now

**feline fur-tunate:** oh wow i exposed myself

**viperactive:** lmao

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 1:45pm ]**

_[ bugsy malone added bunnyx, pegase and roi singe to mirac-donalds ]_

**local homiesexual:** who the fuck is bunnyx

**bugsy malone:** insert really extra time travel plot here

**ryuko:** Sounds reasonable

_[ bunnyx and roi singe joined mirac-donalds ]_

**oh hey its firefox:** hi welcome to mirac-donalds what would you like to order

**bunnyx:** what

**roi singe:** miracu-fries

**oh hey its firefox:** aight fuckers thats some miracu-fries

**bugsy malone:** queenie fry em

**local homiesexual:** who are you people

**roi singe:** look i’m just a humble man who wants some miracu-fries :(

**bunnyx:** are these miracu-fries to go

**shell-ebration:** where else could you eat them?

**bunnyx:** valid point

_[ roi singe changed their name to miracu-fries ]_

**oh hey its firefox:** hes my favorite already

**miracu-fries:** ah yes, i’ve earned the respect of the authority

**oh hey its firefox:** damn right fellow miracumeme

**bunnyx:** hey wait if this is all the miraculous users where’s chat??

**feline fur-tunate:** i’m covered in flour :(

**feline fur-tunate:** i just wanted some fucking wAFFLES but then wuh oH plAGG APPEARS AND

**feline fur-tunate:** oh wait uh howdy

**bugsy malone:** what a great save

**feline fur-tunate:** shush

**bunnyx:** lmao

**miracu-fries:** wait but what about viperion??

**feline fur-tunate:** he’s busy laughing at me

**ryuko:** If I could see you now, I probably would too

**feline fur-tunate:** if i could see myself now?

**feline fur-tunate:** same

**viperactive:** welcome back to “ i love my boyfriend but he can be dumb “ where chat noir drops an entire bag of flour all over himself and his floor

**feline fur-tunate:** if i could throw the rest of it through your phone screen you know i would

**viperactive:** well aware of that already

**bunnyx:** things i have learned in the few minutes of being here

**bunnyx:** \- no one here is organised

**local homiesexual:** complete truth right there

**bunnyx:** \- a lot gayer than the news makes you out to be

**bugsy malone:** damn u caught us

**feline fur-tunate:** we’ve been exposed

**bunnyx:** \- and the public are really bad at working out who’s dating who

**oh hey its firefox:** dont get me wrong journalists are cool but

**oh hey its firefox:** news reporters are fucking dumb

**shell-ebration:** remember when nadja chamack tried to convince lb and chat they were dating

**miracu-fries:** she was very wrong

**bugsy malone:** shes still hooKED on that smh

**feline fur-tunate:** only a matter of time before gay panic claims one of us and we spill

**viperactive:** spillin’ the tea with nadja chamack

**local homiesexual:** ‘ how i got the media off my ass about dating a girl when i have a boyfriend (not clickbait) ‘

**bunnyx:** this conversation only foretells great things

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 2:58pm ]**

**feline fur-tunate:** that really wasn’t my finest flour

**local homiesexual:** AGSGHIHH

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 3:45am ]**

**bunnyx:** man i love wombats

**bunnyx:** WOMEN WOMEN I MEANTWOMEN

**local homiesexual:** it’s ok bun chat announced his relationship by saying “ i haVE A BEEFERNDS “

**feline fur-tunate:** SHUT

**bunnyx:** lmao beefernds

_[ local homiesexual changed bunnyx’s name to i love wombats ]_

**local homiesexual:** still bullying you though uwu

**i love wombats:** :(


	8. ryuko wants to know your location

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ryuko: If they don’t accept it, I’m going to find their address, and when I do, I shall take vengeance for you both
> 
> i love wombats: this is the best power move of 2019
> 
> miracu-fries: ryuko is the strongest sword lesbian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’ve wanted to throw some kind of shade at nadja for five million hours so now my time has come to bring up that interview in prime queen because,, ew
> 
> ( lila will also get shade shhh )

**[ un-bee-lievable || 6:45am ]**

**diamond:** hey angel

**diamond:** i love you and i hope you have a good morning, remember to eat breakfast somewhen you silly kitty

**diamond:** 💕

**diamond:** i’ll text you again when you’re out of school but if you don’t eat i will find out and hunt you down (n˘v˘•)¬

**angel:** agfdhgf i’m still not used to this all ( ･_･)♡

**angel:** i love you tooo

**angel:** i’ll eat don’t worry, i actually have time to today

**angel:** and you made my morning great, diamond 💕💕💕💕

**diamond:** (^▽^)

**angel:** ≧◡≦

**angel:** i gotta go before anyone sees this all but i loVE YOU

**diamond:** i know you do lmao you say it 50 times a day

**angel:** you always say it back though uwu

**diamond:** i know nwn

**diamond:** love you too kitty

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 4:15pm ]**

**oh hey its firefox:** best part of a friday is being one step closer to saturday coffee and croissants

**i love wombats:** i love that before i joined y’all i was like ‘ hey the miraculous team must be so organised!! always so alert and awake, ready for action!! ‘

**i love wombats:** then i get tagged in queenie’s 2am texts of “ everyone i hope you know i’m still thinking of those ducks with hands because they haunt my dreams “

**local homiesexual:** that’s just the miraculous life

**viperactive:** the miraculous life really does choose you

**bugsy malone:** oh wait shit we never asked u new losers what kind of coffee u like

**i love wombats:** bro if you buy me coffee grounds i’d eat them

**i love wombats:** aka i want it Strong

**i love wombats:** like me uwu

**feline fur-tunate:** everybody just instantly fits in i’m so proud

**miracu-fries:** macchiato!!

**miracu-fries:** oh wait hey @pegase what kinda coffee do you want??

_[ pegase joined mirac-donalds ]_

**pegase:** ..You all get coffee together?

**pegase:** Oh well, I won’t question it.

**pegase:** A latte is good with me.

**viperactive:** i’m now threatened with the fact i have to buy and carry ten coffees and croissants

**feline fur-tunate:** i’ll help!

**feline fur-tunate:** also i can pay for them sometimes if you want?

**bugsy malone:** look at chat

**bugsy malone:** bein there for his man

**viperactive:** i’d definitely like the help with the drinks and shit but babe you don’t need to pay it’s ok

**feline fur-tunate:** lemme pay sometimes i wanna help

**viperactive:** babe

**feline fur-tunate:** beau

**viperactive:** angel

**feline fur-tunate:** diamond

**local homiesexual:** is this a pet name war

**bugsy malone:** is diamond a fuckin pun about diamondbacks

**viperactive:** minou

**feline fur-tunate:** amour

**shell-ebration:** can’t believe i just walked into a mini war

**viperactive:** it’s normally worse

**feline fur-tunate:** i have mountains of names for this man because i love him

**ryuko:** Chat: I love my boyfriend

**ryuko:** Nadja Chamack: As we can see here, this is a wonderful case of great male friendship! Just guys being dudes, because I cannot be questioned in my authenticity

**bugsy malone:** see this is why we dont see nadja anymore

**feline fur-tunate:** we saw her once

**bugsy malone:** once is far too many times to have nadja chamack interrogate u and ur best friend

**oh hey its firefox:** oh yeah like holy fuck woman, youre trying to convince two teenagers that theyre dating

**oh hey its firefox:** thats not cool or appealing nadja

**i love wombats:** tbh i completely forgot about that interview because it was just?? so uncomfortable???

**viperactive:** i watched parts of it and it just didn’t sit well

**feline fur-tunate:** i think the worst part is that people wanted it :/

**bugsy malone:** oh yeah

**bugsy malone:** that was just her main source of views it wasnt gooD

**feline fur-tunate:** like ew, no, stop

**feline fur-tunate:** all i came for was pastries and coffee and there was no coffee

**local homiesexual:** ah yes, a man with priorities

**bugsy malone:** honestly tho same

**ryuko:** Clearly the two things of the highest importance

**oh hey its firefox:** lmao

**oh hey its firefox:** but have you ever considered publicly coming out? or even just telling people that you arent dating?

**oh hey its firefox:** its not like you even have to say that you have a boyf, chat, you can just say you have a partner

**oh hey its firefox:** and if people dont accept it then we gang up and beat them up

**bugsy malone:** love a queen who offers to beat up any haters

**ryuko:** If they don’t accept it, I’m going to find their address, and when I do, I shall take vengeance for you both

**i love wombats:** this is the best power move of 2019

**miracu-fries:** ryuko is the strongest sword lesbian

**feline fur-tunate:** she’s the strongest in general

**feline fur-tunate:** i can’t even win an argument against my boyf about who’s paying for coffees

**viperactive:** because you don’t need tO

**feline fur-tunate:** SHUT

**local homiesexual:** and now we’re riGHT back to the beginning

**i love wombats:** lmao

**____________________**

**[ intense slapstick comedy || 4:56am ]**

**boomerbug:** since i know u so well i know ur not asleep so

**boomerbug:** ive been thinking for like, an hour

**boomerbug:** do u think we should be honest and stuff and let people know we arent dating?

**pun-romantic:** oh yeah!

**pun-romantic:** i’m ok with it so long as you are, bugs

**pun-romantic:** i’m fine with paris knowing i’m dating viper but i wanna check if he’s ok with it too

**boomerbug:** chat u are the boyfriend we all aspire to be

**pun-romantic:** i know right uwu

**boomerbug:** how do u wanna go about this though?

**boomerbug:** we could always do something on the ladyblog then deal with reporters as they come along

**pun-romantic:** plus even if it’s smaller than most news stations, it’s a lot easier to handle people ourselves at first?

**pun-romantic:** oh yeah viper’s cool with it too so i might as well say i’m dating 

**pun-romantic:** anyway i also just, trust alya to handle it better than making it bigger than it needs to be

**boomerbug:** yeah it’s the best starting point

**pun-romantic:** sort it out more through the week?

**boomerbug:** u read my mind

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 9:32pm ]**

**shell-ebration:** _yo you guys did it!!_

_—_

_**[ ladyblog - ‘ lb and cn have an important message!! ‘ - posted 3h ago ]**_

_” wait, are we recording already? “ with a nod from ladybug, chat span quickly on his chair, making sure he was facing the camera and not staring out of alya’s windows. a laugh was heard off camera, and the hero stuck out his tongue in response: a nudge from the heroine brought him back to the interview._

_“ well, um- hi everyone! “ they both gave a short wave, chat seeming more externally confident than his counterpart. “ this.. is a little difficult to talk about, but with all that’s going on in both our lives and the media, we felt like we needed to confirm this to you all. “ she took a breath, composing herself and allowing chat to speak._

_“ we know you all think that we belong together, and like- yeah! i used to too. you see us in battle and maybe think ‘ wow, those two are in love! ‘ “ he added a high-pitched tone with a thousand yard stare to his impression, and ladybug couldn’t help but to suppress a laugh with a snort. “ we really aren’t, though. “_

_after calming herself, she smiled to the camera once again, chat leaning back with a slight grin. “ i love this dumb cat, but he’s not my boyfriend: yeah, he’s a wonderful guy, but chat just isn’t my type. “ the cat beside her feigned a hurt expression, hand dramatically gestured to his heart._

_“ bugs! i’m wounded! “ they both stared for a few moments, alya asking if they want a second before being cut off by both heroes laughing. it was good that they were at least relaxing as the interview went on._

_“ but really, guys: we care about all of you, but shipping us obsessively isn’t ok. we’re real people with real lives and feelings- with real relationships. you’re ships won’t always happen, so don’t overreact if it doesn’t. “ a quick gesture to chat made the implication obvious, and he gave ladybug a soft smile in response. he cleared his throat and commented shortly on it._

_“ after all, i do have a boyfriend. i love bugs over here as much as everybody else, but my moonlight kisses are saved for another. “ they initiated a lop-sided hug, and ladybug grinned, both heroes beaming at being able to actually do this. “ she’s purrfect, and i’m glad she’s my best friend! “_

_“ chat! seriously? “ she shoved him, both going from pure giggling to an uproar of laughter, as if the pun in itself was an inside joke with deeper meaning. this went on for around a minute, alya actually laughing along if you listened closely enough._

_it ended with the two hugging one another, ladybug murmuring before the video offered the ‘ replay ‘ option. “ you’re my best friend too, chaton. “_

_**comments — 246**_

_abeille:_ i always thought they were dating, but i guess the media just chooses the ‘ romance ‘ moments :/ i’m really happy for chat though!! hopefully ladybug will get someone to be happy with too! 

_berry beautiful:_ aww! these two are really good friends, and i can see it a lot better now- no wonder they make such a good team! i’d fight for a friendship like that nwn 

_goatman:_this was short but so sweet and honest?? it’s sad that half of paris assumed they were dating, but i’m happy both of them were upfront about it :D 

_purrty:_from start to finish the interview was cute! i’m so happy for chat and i’m glad these two are there for each other!! it really shows them both from another perspective and all 

_saturn is scary:_ i love their friendship so much.. it’s so powerful i’m jealous

_ **200+ comments..** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wink wonk hey i love y’all  
thank ye for so many kudos, comments and hits ≧◡≦


	9. ribs? snatched

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> feline fur-tunate: i only got my ribcage snatched once, it probably won’t happen again
> 
> local homiesexual: once is definitely enough
> 
> oh hey its firefox: ‘ got my ribcage snatched ‘ YOU NEARLY DIED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> miraculer just slapped my brain and reminded me that chat probably could’ve fucking died and that’s :( big sad :(

**[ mirac-donalds || 10:34am ]**

**viperactive:** you know who’s ugly 

**feline fur-tunate:** xy

**viperactive:** x fucking y

**local homiesexual:** he looks like a radish

**feline fur-tunate:** he really does

**viperactive:** november’s the month of shade and i’m throwing it hard at this loser

**bugsy malone:** his dad is shaped like an egg

**ryuko:** Scrambled or hard-boiled?

**bugsy malone:** yes

**viperactive:** his fingers are longer than my face and that?

**viperactive:** that scares me

**oh hey its firefox:** oh mood

**oh hey its firefox:** i saw a picture of him at 3am and screamed

**feline fur-tunate:** i’m pretty convinced they’re just veggietales characters

**viperactive:** is xy larry

**bugsy malone:** no hes jerry

**local homiesexual:** bob looks like mr lunt ngl

**ryuko:** From eggs to gourds, they still manage to be absolutely horrific

**oh hey its firefox:** true that

**shell-ebration:** guys we are literally all sitting on the same rooftop wHY ARE YOU TEXTING

**feline fur-tunate:** because i’m eating a croissant

**viperactive:** he’s humming the wii theme

**feline fur-tunate:** so are you shut up

**oh hey its firefox:** unlike these gays, i just dont feel like speaking

**oh hey its firefox:** so instead were making fun of xy

**bugsy malone:** im already multitasking and texting dont expect so much of me

**local homiesexual:** i’m

**local homiesexual:** i don’t really know

**local homiesexual:** just scoping out pretty girls i guess

**ryuko:** Mood

**shell-ebration:** i know that bunnyx, pegase and roi are playing uno

**pegase:** I’m winning.

**i love wombats:** fuck you

**shell-ebration:** i hope no one walks by and see us just gathered here

**miracu-fries:** wait so we weren’t meant to order pizza?

**bugsy malone:** wh

**bugsy malone:** does it have pineapple

**miracu-fries:** yea

**bugsy malone:** well looks like ive got me some lunch

**local homiesexual:** all of my compassion for ladybug has just faded upon this day

**local homiesexual:** pineapple on pizza, what a sin

**bugsy malone:** dont bully me >:(

**miracu-fries:** oh hey hE’S HERE

**ryuko:** WAIT WHAT

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 11:56am ]**

**feline fur-tunate:** i feel bad for pierre he had to see our uno game go wild

**i love wombats:** it wasn’t THAT bad

**oh hey its firefox:** you opened a portal under his feet

**pegase:** We traumatised a pizza delivery guy.

**bugsy malone:** at least we tipped well

**local homiesexual:** 100 euros won’t afford the therapy he’s gonna need

**____________________**

**[ intense slapstick comedy || 5:34pm ]**

**pun-romantic:** over-dramatic cough

**pun-romantic:** hey bugs have you ever uhh

**pun-romantic:** forgotten to take your binder off for ages and now your body hurts

**boomerbug:** C HAT

**boomerbug:** i am going to leap in and punch u with a fistful of concern and love u dumbass

**boomerbug:** are u ok???

**pun-romantic:** yeah just sore :(

**pun-romantic:** now i’m just in bed with a box of goldfish

**boomerbug:** ur a dumbass but im glad ur ok

**boomerbug:** go monch on some goldfish

**pun-romantic:** hell yeah

**pun-romantic:** there is literally no one in my house rn and i would go do something but body hurt :((

**boomerbug:** treat yoself :(

**pun-romantic:** these goldfish are already a blessing

**boomerbug:** hell yea

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 5:46pm ]**

**shell-ebration:** hey has your whole body ever gone “ uhhhh FUCK you “ and bam

**shell-ebration:** instant pain

**feline fur-tunate:** yeah :(

**bugsy malone:** o god yeah

**bugsy malone:** sometimes my wrists feel like theyre about to snap off

**ryuko:** If your wrists are ever too sore, I wouldn’t be unwilling to carry you, Ladybug

**bugsy malone:** i

**bugsy malone:** inffy; i mean thank u!!! for the offer ryu but im fineef!

**bugsy malone:** im sure ur super strong but im good

**ryuko:** The option will always be available

**local homiesexual:** tbh we’d all carry you lb

**viperactive:** i totally would but i’m gonna carry my boy instead

**bugsy malone:** its ok viper im happy with pretty girls carrying me

**bugsy malone:** go carry ur mans

**feline fur-tunate:** your mans is in bed with a box of goldfish

**shell-ebration:** oh i wish that were me

**oh hey its firefox:** i am RIGHT here

**shell-ebration:** i’m sorry babe but i’m sore and hungry

**feline fur-tunate:** oh same

**feline fur-tunate:** my ribs have betrayed me once again

**viperactive:** aw minou :(

**feline fur-tunate:** don’t worry my goldfish will heal me

**local homiesexual:** goldfish the new miraculous ladybug?

**oh hey its firefox:** not clickbait true story

**feline fur-tunate:** at least my ribs haven’t up and abandoned me tho

**shell-ebration:** please don’t remind me

**bugsy malone:** that was genuinely terrifying

**feline fur-tunate:** i only got my ribcage snatched once, it probably won’t happen again

**local homiesexual:** once is definitely enough

**oh hey its firefox:** ‘ got my ribcage snatched ‘ YOU NEARLY DIED

**viperactive:** yes hello uhhh WHAT THE FUCK

**ryuko:** When?? Did this happen?????

**feline fur-tunate:** oh that was miraculer

**feline fur-tunate:** she just melted my bones

**bugsy malone:** u tried to stand up and fell over

**feline fur-tunate:** it was a big ouch

**local homiesexual:** 10/10 would not do again

**oh hey its firefox:** i swear you literally just laid down on the roof and didnt move for like an hour

**feline fur-tunate:** three hours

**viperactive:** i am g o ing to lovingly throw you and then embrace you for an entire week if you pull that shit for me

**ryuko:** No more almost dying

**bugsy malone:** pleas

**feline fur-tunate:** but i do it cause i love you guys :((

**bugsy malone:** u dumb kitty u dont need to nearly DIE to show that

**oh hey its firefox:** no more dying for chat in 2020

**feline fur-tunate:** hh ok

**bugsy malone:** ur a brilliant partner i dont wanna lose u forever dumb dumb

**feline fur-tunate:** :)

**local homiesexual:** yeah you’re pretty ok

**feline fur-tunate:** :(

**local homiesexual:** jk i love you

**viperactive:** everybody out here loving and supporting chat

**ryuko:** We also love and support Ladybug

**shell-ebration:** love and support everybody

**bugsy malone:** this man has the right ideas

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 2:35pm ]**

**bugsy malone:** cant believe the furry cried when i hugged him

**feline fur-tunate:** i was SAD and it was UNEXPECTED

**oh hey its firefox:** does everybody wanna just do group hugs on saturdays

**miracu-fries:** YES

**viperactive:** instead of taking a shot everytime chat sacrifices himself, take a shot everytime someone does something nice and he cries

**feline fur-tunate:** but that’s every time

**bugsy malone:** then i guess weve got a lot of shots to do


	10. the adventures of pierre the pizza guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> local homiesexual: besides let’s bee honest adrien, i can be a bad person
> 
> feline fur-tunate: bee
> 
> local homiesexual: oh my fuCKING GOD
> 
> feline fur-tunate: LET’S BEE HONEST HUH CHLO
> 
> local homiesexual: STRUDASDHRGH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chloe could totally work out adrien’s identity don’t @ me

**[ mirac-donalds || 4:12pm ]**

**viperactive:** hey i hope this akuma knows that it interrupted a very good date

**oh hey its firefox:** its literally glaciator again

**oh hey its firefox:** so dont worry you can still hold hands

**shell-ebration:** *softly breakdances*

**shell-ebration:** whats wrong my man andre

**shell-ebration:** why you get akumatized so much

**feline fur-tunate:** hey he’s better than the baby

**i love wombats:** anything’s better than the baby

**pegase:** I have absolutely no idea why Hawkmoth keeps akumatising him.

**local homiesexual:** hawkmoth is not a smart man

**feline fur-tunate:** i am also not a smart man

**bugsy malone:** none of us are lol

**local homiesexual:** we’re all dumb and like most of y’all are nice too

**feline fur-tunate:** you’re nice too queenie shush!!

**local homiesexual:** lol no

**local homiesexual:** i am a Bad person and that is all there is to say

**i love wombats:** LIES

**feline fur-tunate:** that’s it i am going over there and HUGGING you you SILLY goose

**viperactive:** go bABE GO

**local homiesexual:** WAIT NO

**local homiesexual:** AHDT

**feline fur-tunates:** i’m an unstoppable force you can’t escape my hugs

**feline fur-tunate:** the good vibes are coming your way

**local homiesexual:** I DON’T WANT THE GOOD VIBES

**feline fur-tunate:** TOO BAD

**bugsy malone:** well the one positive is that theyre distracting glaciator

**ryuko:** Let’s go, lesbians

**i love wombats:** leTS GO

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 4:42pm ]**

**local homiesexual:** i am off the ground wHEN DID YOU GET TALL

**feline fur-tunate:** I GREW FROM ALL OF THE COMPASSION YOU GUYS SHOW ME

**viperactive:** he’s 60% leg and it might get worse

**bugsy malone:** oh god

**feline fur-tunate:** you’re a good 70% leg so shhh

**local homiesexual:** i still can’t believe i’ve been snatched off the ground

**oh hey its firefox:** chats a strong man

**feline fur-tunate:** never underestimate my hug power

**____________________**

_[ local homiesexual created we’re preps and not straight ]_

**[ we’re preps and not straight || 2:37am ]**

**local homiesexual:** ADRIEN SQUARE UP

**local homiesexual:** i know chat’s your fursona and i said i’d fight anyone who hurts my favourite mans and you bully yourself so SQUARE UP

**feline fur-tunate:** aytuh wHOS ADRIEN

**local homiesexual:** you can’t play DUMB i know that it’s you

**feline fur-tunate:** no adriens here only chat noirs

**feline fur-tunate:** play dumb i would NEVER

**local homiesexual:** when you yoinked me off the ground yesterday i had a feeling

**local homiesexual:** because at school you did the same thing and i nearly sobbed because god you’re too nice to me

**feline fur-tunate:** chloe don’t diss yourself like that you’re a wonderful person who’s trying her best!!

**local homiesexual:** see NO ONE but adrien- who is you- speaks to me like that

**local homiesexual:** besides let’s bee honest adrien, i can be a bad person

**feline fur-tunate:** bee

**local homiesexual:** oh my fuCKING GOD

**feline fur-tunate:** LET’S BEE HONEST HUH CHLO

**local homiesexual:** STRUDASDHRGH

**local homiesexual:** RIDICULOUS

**feline fur-tunate:** rIdIcUlOuS

**feline fur-tunate:** i made you pun i can’t believe it i’m going to scream and wake up my father

**local homiesexual:** oh please gabriel agreste doesn’t sleep

**local homiesexual:** he just lurks around and looms in a corner

**feline fur-turnate:** like your mom?

**local homiesexual:** you got me there

**feline fur-tunate:** still first viper works out my identity and then yOU do

**feline fur-tunate:** am i that bad at being subtle

**local homiesexual:** no i’ve just known you my entire life and he is your loving boyfriend

**local homiesexual:** also now i can tell everyone about that time when we watched frozen for the seventh time and you screeched ‘ let it go ‘ with the worst voice crack EVER

**feline fur-tunate:** DON’T YOU DARE

**feline fur-tunate:** otherwise you give me every right to talk about when we were seven and you ripped some of my hair out, cried and we tried to glue it back in with a hot glue gun

**local homiesexual:** oh god i remember that

**local homiesexual:** jean-paul showed up just in time

**feline fur-tunate:** imagine if you did hot glue my hair back in

**feline fur-tunate:** i’d have battle scars

**local homiesexual:** ahhrukf

_[ local homiesexual changed their name to hot glue gone wrong ]_

_[ feline fur-tunate changed their name to puberty ]_

**hot glue gone wrong:** the power of solidarity

**puberty:** it’s our only way to fight the boomer army of gabriel, andré and audrey

**hot glue gone wrong:** hot glue them to the floor

**puberty:** with style queen gold glitter

**hot glue gone wrong:** YES

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 7:45am ]**

**oh hey its firefox:** why are queenie and chat singing ‘ i am a girl like you ‘ on patrol

**shell-ebration:** sounds great

**oh hey its firefox:** it’s all i can hear on the way to school

**viperactive:** don’t we all just wish we had a friend to sing barbie songs with

**ryuko:** I never got to watch any Barbie movies :(

**bugsy malone:** i have STACKS we can find somewhere to watch them together

**ryuko:** I’ll happily take you up on your offer

**bugsy malone:** hell yea

**shell-ebration:** ok babe i can hear them now and they’re?? so in tune??

**oh hey its firefox:** why do you think i’m recording it

**viperactive:** send it to that ladyblog girl because i wANT to see this

**miracu-fries:** oh SAME

**miracu-fries:** i needed more barbie loving friends

**i love wombats:** i love barbie

**i love wombats:** i wanna be her trophy girlfriend

**pegase:** I have to be honest, I haven’t seen many barbie movies either.

**bugsy malone:** THATS IT COFFEE MORNING IS NOW MOVIE MORNING

**oh hey its firefox:** barbie movies for all

**feline fur-tunate:** BARBIE MOVIES??

**local homiesexual:** i’m instantly invested in this conversation instead of our sing-along

**feline fur-tunate:** but we just got to the victorious ones :((

**local homiesexual:** i’m sorry but barbie :(

**local homiesexual:** also i’d love to skip school and be emotional and barbie loving with you but we should go or my dad might call the cops to find me

**feline fur-tunate:** oh yeah lmao

**bugsy malone:** barbie talk later lets go learn shit

**____________________**

**[ we’re preps and not straight || 8:56am ]**

**hot glue gone wrong:** oh yeah how did viper find out who you were?

**puberty:** he wrote on a coffee cup that my smile gave him heart agreste

**hot glue gone wrong:** you two really are perfect for each other

**puberty:** uwu


	11. emotional trauma? yeah same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shell-ebration: i love my girlf
> 
> ryuko: I wish I had a girlf
> 
> bugsy malone: santa better give me a girlf this year or imma hunt him for sport on my island in the middle of the bermuda triangle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> monopoly but it’s feral

**[ intense slapstick comedy || 4:35am ]**

**boomerbug:** hey chat i have no idea what ur doing right now but i want u to know that i love u dearly and i hope u have a wonderful day

**pun-romantic:** of course i’m gonna have a great day we’re watching BARBIE

**boomerbug:** god i wish i could watch barbie movies every day

**boomerbug:** unfortunately school exists

**pun-romantic:** if you ever just have enough with school just text me and we can hang out on a rooftop with barbie movies

**boomerbug:** omg i love u

**boomerbug:** school is shitty at the moment but im glad i have u

**pun-romantic:** school is like

**pun-romantic:** i don’t know it’s not what i expected but? it’s nice?

**pun-romantic:** like i have friends now

**pun-romantic:** more than one friend

**boomerbug:** this year was like, really good up until now

**boomerbug:** bitch mcdicks showing up just isnt going well for my social life

**boomerbug:** people who used to be my friends just believe everything she says and that shits hard man

**pun-romantic:** i’m actually terrible with advice about stuff like this since

**pun-romantic:** personal stuff

**pun-romantic:** but if you know someone who’ll listen it might help to sit them down and talk? but like only people who you know don’t believe mcdicks

**pun-romantic:** i don’t know i’m bad at this :(

**boomerbug:** hmmm

**boomerbug:** i know a couple people so i might as well try u get me?

**boomerbug:** still i have no idea if some of them will listen

**pun-romantic:** i’ll always be here if you need me bugs ;)

**boomerbug:** pfft

**boomerbug:** thanks kitty

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 8:45am ]**

**viperactive:** we got the coffee

**feline fur-tunate:** and the pastries

**bugsy malone:** and the movies uwu

**local homiesexual:** the real question here

**local homiesexual:** who brought monopoly

**i love wombats:** whoops

**shell-ebration:** UNO WAS BANNED FOR A REASON

**bugsy malone:** we shall burn it

**ryuko:** How unfortunate- I’d wanted to play

**bugsy malone:** **we shall play it

**ryuko:** (◕‿◕✿)

**oh hey its firefox:** well if you excuse me i have a will to write

**bugsy malone:** we play after the movies 

**bugsy malone:** be prepared for my sheer power

**____________________**

**[ intense slapstick comedy || 9:02am ]**

**pun-romantic:** smooth

**boomerbug:** SHUT UP

**pun-romantic:** owu

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 10:31am ]**

**ryuko:** I don’t understand why the princess and the pauper simply didn’t marry one another

**ryuko:** All of their problems would have been solved

**local homiesexual:** what an intellectual

**feline fur-tunate:** galaxy brain

**pegase:** Besides, once her husband inevitably dies in war, they could’ve easily moved in together without being questioned

**miracu-fries:** in the sequel they just get married in the woods and live in a tiny cottage together making pretty dresses and have seven cats

**feline fur-tunate:** everybody out here being smart

**local homiesexual:** then there’s us lmao

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 1:56pm ]**

**viperactive:** my legs are going numb

**viperactive:** i said that before chat immediately sits up and now i have never felt so empty

**viperactive:** babe come back it’s so cold :(

**feline fur-tunate:** you said your legs were going numb!! i didn’t want you to be uncomfortable i’m sorry :((

**viperactive:** come back pls

**feline fur-tunate:** i’m sitting next to you

**viperactive:** you’re warm and i wanna cuddle

**feline fur-tunate:** :o

**feline fur-tunate:** ·ᴥ·

**feline fur-tunate:** i can’t turn down any form of contact

**i love wombats:** sunshine boy

**____________________**

**[ miracu-donalds || 2:56pm ]**

**bugsy malone:** that was the most dramatic goodbye in the history of goodbyes

**viperactive:** what can i say

**viperactive:** i love my boyf

**miracu-fries:** boyfs are beloved in this household

**oh hey its firefox:** and girlfs too

**shell-ebration:** i love my girlf

**ryuko:** I wish I had a girlf

**bugsy malone:** santa better give me a girlf this year or imma hunt him for sport on my island in the middle of the bermuda triangle

**oh hey its firefox:** thats very specific

**local homiesexual:** ladybug? enjoying the thrill of the hunt? it’s more likely than you think

**i love wombats:** i am not at all opposed to being hunted for sport

**ryuko:** I would gladly assist you, Ladybug

**bugsy malone:** what if we went to hunt hawkmoth and accidentally held hands 👀👀 haha jk jk..... unless 🤔🤔

**ryuko:** But what if wasn’t an accident?? Hah, jk

**ryuko:** Unless?

**bugsy malone:** o hm

**bugsy malone:** after this monopoly game im going to marry u

**ryuko:** uwu

**local homiesexual:** hey whilst they were being gay i took the last of the croissants

**miracu-fries:** HOW D A R E YOU

**local homiesexual:** lol suck it mr monkey

**miracu-fries:** i will bankrupt you

**local homiesexual:** try me bitch

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 4:27pm ]**

**viperactive:** was that my hotel

**shell-ebration:** yea

**viperactive:** ok cool

**viperactive:** hey @pegase

**viperactive:** i’m going to slaughter you

**pegase:** I’d like to see you try

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 4:58pm ]**

**local homiesexual:** rena i am THIS close to punching you

**oh hey its firefox:** fuck you im rich now

**local homiesexual:** i’ll make you eat those words

**shell-ebration:** but who’s the faker

**i love wombats:** all of us

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 5:36pm ]**

**bugsy malone:** RYU JUST MADE ME BANKRUPT

**bugsy malone:** then again shes holding my hand so im not complaining

**ryuko:** I could defeat all of you in mere minutes

**local homiesexual:** you aren’t wrong

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 6:47pm ]**

**feline fur-tunate:** GUYS STOP FIGHTING IT’S JUST MONOPOLY

**local homiesexual:** RENA MADE ME LOSE ALL OF MY HOTELS I WILL MAKE HER SUFFER

**oh hey its firefox:** OH FUCK YOU

**shell-ebration:** THIS IS NOT LEGAL

**bugsy malone:** hey my new maybe girlfriend kicked ur asses so hA

**ryuko:** Indeed I did

**viperactive:** i feel like everyone was just out to take all of my property then slap me with it

**feline fur-tunate:** i wish i got to play :((

**pegase:** It was rather unfortunate you had to miss it

**pegase:** :(

**miracu-fries:** next time?

**local homiesexual:** of course we’ll play another time just

**local homiesexual:** maybe not that brutally

**feline fur-tunate:** you guys really want to??

**bugsy malone:** i would play again for u

**viperactive:** same

**local homiesexual:** same

**shell-ebration:** i’d do pretty much anything for chat

**feline fur-tunate:** (´ω｀)

**feline fur-tunate:** that’s really sweet of you guys!

**feline fur-tunate:** a

**feline fur-tunate:** well there goes my cool kid eyeliner

**bugsy malone:** oH MY GOD WHY DO U CRY WHENEVER WE DO SOMETHING NICE

**feline fur-tunate:** BECAUSE I’M EMOTIONAL

**bugsy malone:** IF U CRY I CRY

**feline fur-tunate:** aAAA

**____________________**

**[ intense slapstick comedy || 9:43pm ]**

**pun-romantic:** so when’s the wedding

**boomerbug:** stiyfig


	12. bitch mcdicks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angel: i’m doing a dark shoutout on xy’s twitter
> 
> diamond: do you mean a callout
> 
> angel: a what now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bitch mcdicks is a great name for lila and you can’t change my mind
> 
> also hey look its a class chapter! we be wildin out here
> 
> also yea i love these guys i’m totally gonna make them good people
> 
> ______
> 
> class group chat:
> 
> madame macaroon - marinette  
what a k-nightmare - adrien  
ok google - alya  
vitamin sí - nino  
i am buzzfeed - chloé  
vegan biscuit - sabrina  
legs? no thanks - alix  
petal dance - rose  
total tragedy - juleka  
sandals - kim  
what is a buzzfeed - max  
so no jorts? - nathaniel  
lëgö brïck - ivan  
oh no - myléné
> 
> and uhhhhh
> 
> trash - lila (she is completely irrelevant)

**[ we’re preps and not straight || 8:35am ]**

**hot glue gone wrong:** hey do you wanna piss our parents off with like

**hot glue gone wrong:** a brilliant power move

**puberty:** you had me at hey

**hot glue gone wrong:** ok cool so what colour crocs do you want

**puberty:** oh my god

**puberty:** i want green ones

**hot glue gone wrong:** should i get platform crocs tho

**puberty:** YES

**puberty:** if you buy me platform green crocs my father will probably die from the shock

**puberty:** so i support this movement 110%

**hot glue gone wrong:** i can’t believe i’ll be solely responsible for the death of gabriel ‘ i dress like a candy cane ‘ agreste

**puberty:** you have to buy those pink glittery ones

**hot glue gone wrong:** the ones with the sequins or the ones with the stickers

**puberty:** either way your mom will probably die

**hot glue gone wrong:** perfect

**hot glue gone wrong:** after their unfortunate deaths we can buy black funeral crocs

**puberty:** crocs with socks

**hot glue gone wrong:** crocs with cat socks

**puberty:** can we bring those ghost umbrellas we brought one year

**hot glue gone wrong:** only if all of the musicians play kazoos

**puberty:** DEAL

**hot glue gone wrong:** this is gonna be the BEST funeral i’ll ever go to

**puberty:** oh mood

**puberty:** wait get some pun shirts as well

**hot glue gone wrong:** the text gotta match our crocs

**puberty:** nathalie’s going to actually break down when she sees me

**hot glue gone wrong:** adrien agreste just walking down the stairs in his glittery green crocs, cat socks, cuffed jeans and a ‘ what a cat-astrophe ‘ shirt

**hot glue gone wrong:** such beautiful imagery

**puberty:** viper says we should add in those retro sunglasses

**hot glue gone wrong:** your boyfriend is a genius

**puberty:** i know right

**hot glue gone wrong:** well everything’s ordered so come to the hotel tomorrow and be there or be square

**puberty:** i could never pass up an opportunity like this

**puberty:** bold of you to even assume i wouldn’t ditch piano to become a living legend

**____________________**

**[ we’re preps and not straight || 7:34am ]**

**puberty:** HE FAINTED

**hot glue gone wrong:** oh mY GOD

**____________________**

**[ why are there so many birds || 8:21am ]**

**marineedles:** hey alya when? the fuck did adrien and chloe buy crocs??

**gonna report ya:** i

**gonna report ya:** i don’t even know but how did his dad not stop him?

**marineedles:** i cant decide if i should laugh or cry

**marineedles:** im gonna go with laughing i cant cry today

**marineedles:** kagami will ask me about it :(

**gonna report ya:** ..why would kagami ask about it??

**marineedles:** what

**marineedles:** why wo

**marineedles:** OH

**marineedles:** OHRRYUFFGB

**gonna report ya:** MARI

**gonna report ya:** GIRL

**gonna report ya:** YOU BEEN GETTING YOURSELF A HAND TO HOLD AND A LADY TO SMOOCH??

**marineedles:** weLL I MEAN

**marineedles:** its?? a date????

**gonna report ya:** oh my god i’m so proud

**marineedles:** i think its a date

**marineedles:** i dont really know

**gonna report ya:** like a wiseman (nino) once said “ its probably gay if you both do a little scream “

**marineedles:** oh ok its gay then

**gonna report ya:** aAaa

**gonna report ya:** i’m screaming

**gonna report ya:** if she don’t treat my girl right imma 💪😔 👊 fight somebody

**marineedles:** alya dont beat her up

**marineedles:** mainly because she would definitely beat you up too like that would go so badly

**gonna report ya:** kagami probably would beat me up but like oh well

**gonna report ya:** i love you with like all my plantonic energy

**marineedles:** plantonic

**gonna report ya:** *platonic oh SHUSH

**____________________**

**[ god? is that you?? || 10:38am ]**

**vitamin sí:** i’ve been sitting here for ten minutes listening to adrien insulting his dad’s fashion sense and calling him a bitch for being scared of crocs

**vitamin sí:** what happened sunshine boy who hurt you

**what a k-nightmare:** a stinky bitch we all know

**what a k-nightmare:** his name is gabriel agreste and he’s probably screeching at nathalie right now

**madame macaroon:** i cant believe adrien killed his dad

**i am buzzfeed:** smh where’s my appreciation for helping to murder gabriel agreste??

**legs? no thanks:** chloé and adrien admit to having killed a grown man with nothing but crocs

**legs? no thanks:** more at 11

**what is a buzzfeed:** Bustier had to take a step back after she realised

**what is a buzzfeed:** And I’m pretty sure I saw someone just lie down on the ground and talk about crocs

**sandals:** wasn’t that luka??

**what a k-nightmare:** yea

**vitamin sí:** he just swings by sometimes

**so no jorts?:** I wonder why :/

**vitamin sí:** yeah i wonder why ಠ◡ಠ

**what a k-nightmare:** SHUT

**ok google:** hmm kagami toooo

**madame macaroon:** alya i will Not Hesitate to stab you with my 2b pencil

**ok google:** try me

**vegan biscuit:** oh wow she’s

**vegan biscuit:** she’s actually trying

**total tragedy:** So much dedication

**lëgö brïck:** soo..

**lëgö brïck:** no one’s gonna tell bustier about anything that’s happening, right?

**so no jorts?:** Nah

**i am buzzfeed:** if we wanted her to see everything, we’d just add her to the chat lmao

**lëgö brïck:** okay cool

**what a k-nightmare:** hey max was luka still there when you came up to class

**what is a buzzfeed:** I believe so

**what a k-nightmare:** aight cool imma head out

**legs? no thanks:** wHAT

**madame macaroon:** adrien agreste? skipping class?? in THIS economy???

**madame macaroon:** its more likely than you think

**vitamin sí:** oh i got you my dude 💪😤

**vitamin sí:** you just had like, an ‘ unexpected photo shoot ‘

**what a k-nightmare:** i mean she might see me leave but

**what a k-nightmare:** eh

**i am buzzfeed:** i hope that someone out here is proud of me for teaching adrien to stop giving two fucks

**legs? no thanks:** i am very proud

**total tragedy:** Adrien, first day of school: i love my dad :)) i’ll get good grades :))) sunshine boy :)

**total tragedy:** Adrien now: aight imma just ditch ;) see you later fuckers :) by the way my dad STINKS

**oh no:** adrien might just kill a man?

**i am buzzfeed:** he already has

**____________________**

**[ un-bee-lievable || 11:31am ]**

**diamond:** i can’t believe you skipped just for me

**angel:** max said you were mumbling about crocs i couldn’t leave you like that

**angel:** besides now we can make fun of xy together

**diamond:** cute couple things

**diamond:** bullying a celebrity who literally tried to steal everything you hold dear uwu

**angel:** he disgusts me

**diamond:** oh same

**diamond:** like i’m sure i’ll just hate him forever

**angel:** he looks like a one polygon radish

**diamond:** that?? is such a cruel yet also soft way to insult someone??

**diamond:** next time i have to see him i’ll say that

**diamond:** one polygon radish

**angel:** i’m gonna beat you to it

**diamond:** how tho minou

**angel:** easy

**angel:** i’m doing a dark shoutout on xy’s twitter

**diamond:** do you mean a callout

**angel:** a what now

**diamond:** a callout post

**diamond:** like, a mean shoutout

**angel:** is

**angel:** is that what it’s called

**diamond:** ??yeah??

**angel:** NINO YOU LIAR

**diamond:** lmao

**diamond:** h

**diamond:** hey dri

**angel:** yeah?

**diamond:** did you mean to put that on your normal twitter account?

**angel:**

**angel:** OH GOD

**angel:** AHDTYDGIHH MY DADS GONNA SEE THAT

**diamond:** BABE

**diamond:** BABE JAGGED STONE RETWEETED IT YOU CAN’T ESCAPE IT I’M SORRY

**angel:** DHDDTU

**diamond:** I CAN’T TELL IF THIS IS AMAZING OR TERRIFYING

**angel:** B O T H

**____________________**

_triple thread_  
**@officialadrienagreste**  
hey xy i hope you know that you look like a toasted, one polygon radish. you’re ugly. you’re gross. you’re a thief. ya basic. fight me in the parking lot @ 1am my boyfriend’s gonna record it all

_triple thread_  
**@officialadrienagreste**  
ok so i totally didn’t mean to post this on this account but fuck it, the offer still stands @officialxy - square up buddy boy. we brawlin‘. i’ll take on your dad too, it’s what you both deserve for fucking with my mans 💪😔

_triple thread_  
**@officialadrienagreste**  
so bob roth and xy have BLOCKED me which is just, oh so rude but i’m serious i will fight both of them. and i will claim my victory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what have i done


	13. adrien agreste gets unleashed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cappy: so dude when are you gonna beat up xy??
> 
> secret boyfriend: hey it was in the heat of the moment
> 
> secret boyfriend: but if i find him in that parking lot at 1am, he’s gonna catch some hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all of you: i love this :)
> 
> me: *dies from the sheer amount of attention*

**gabriel**  
_@gabrielagrestebrand_  
I must apologise for my son’s behaviours over the past few hours. As soon as he returns home, I will be speaking with him about all of this.

**triple thread**  
_@officialadrienagreste_  
hey dad the 1930s called they want their candy cane ascot back

**i’m literal royalty**  
_@realchloébourgeois_  
gabriel agreste i know that you’re gonna ground him or something stupid, so please know that:  
1\. i WILL fight you in your own home and  
2\. i will NOT back down

**musicman**  
_@ninolahiffe_  
lmao get beat old man

**b¡tch**  
_@lukacouffaine_  
mr agreste that is very rude, go to the naughty step and think about what you’ve done whilst we steal your son and take him ice skating

**HI I LOVE PENNY**  
_@officialjaggedstone_  
either let your son fight a thief or catch these fucking hands gabriel agreste

**____________________**

**[ brœs || 2:32pm ]**

**cappy:** bro i’m like crying with pride over here

**secret boyfriend:** i’m right next to you you’re not crying

**secret boyfriend:** also why?? did you change my name????

**cappy:** because bro you won’t tell me who your boyf (luka) is (i know)

**secret boyfriend:** if yOU KNOW THEN WHY DO YOU FAKE VAGUE

**cappy:** AHAH SO YOU’RE ADMITTING TO IT

**secret boyfriend:** SGDTFUUHI

**secret boyfriend:** Shut Up™

**cappy:** lmao

**cappy:** it’s ok adridude i support you unlike your dad

**secret boyfriend:** :(

**cappy:** :)

**secret boyfriend:** :)

**cappy:** so dude when are you gonna beat up xy??

**secret boyfriend:** hey it was in the heat of the moment

**secret boyfriend:** but if i find him in that parking lot at 1am, he’s gonna catch some hands

**cappy:** sniffle

**cappy:** you’re gonna make me cry again bro

**secret boyfriend:** nino st

**secret boyfriend:** WHY ARE YOU ACTUALLY CRYING

**cappy:** BECAUSE TOXIC MASCULINITY NEEDS TO DIE AND I’M PROUD OF YOU

**secret boyfriend:** but if you cry

**secret boyfriend:** I CRY

**cappy:** AHHFTY

**cappy:** COME HERE BRO

**secret boyfriend:** YOU TOO BRO

**____________________**

**[ why are there so many birds || 2:56pm ]**

**marineedles:** why are adrien and nino crying

**gonna report ya:** i don’t

**gonna report ya:** i don’t know

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 6:39pm ]**

**shell-ebration:** even though he’s probably getting murdered by his dad, i’m 110% proud of adrien agreste 💪😔👌

**local homiesexual:** i’m proud too

**local homiesexual:** he went Feral and that’s fantastic

**viperactive:** gabriel’s probably going to throw a fit but oh well

**bugsy malone:** how to stick it to the man by adrien

**bugsy malone:** first u stab the man with crocs

**bugsy malone:** then u bully his fashion sense

**ryuko:** For a fashion designer, Gabriel sure lacks the ability to dress.

**i love wombats:** oh god yeah hes just

**bugsy malone:** ugly

**viperactive:** ugly

**shell-ebration:** ugly

**ryuko:** Ugly

**local homiesexual:** ugly

**oh hey its firefox:** ugly

**miracu-fries:** ugly

**pegase:** Ugly.

_[ feline fur-tunate joined mirac-donalds ]_

**feline fur-tunate:** ugly!!

_[ feline fur-tunate left mirac-donalds ]_

**i love wombats:** ok yeah that’s some real truth there

**bugsy malone:** ah yes

**bugsy malone:** the only reason to log in

**viperactive:** amazing

**____________________**

**[ we’re preps and not straight || 7:51pm ]**

**puberty:** wow i did NOT know my dad could yell for that long

**hot glue gone wrong:** has he seriously been yelling at you since you got home??

**puberty:** yeah :(

**puberty:** it wasn’t that bad he’s just really loud and very good at being intimidating

**hot glue gone wrong:** did he do the “ yOU CAN’T GO TO SCHOOL ANYMORE “ thing

**puberty:** no which was?? shocking??

**puberty:** it was more the “ i didn’t raise you to be like this “ thing

**hot glue gone wrong:** if i get akumatized again, i’m throwing your dad off of the eiffel tower

**hot glue gone wrong:** don’t worry i’ll make sure you don’t have to save him

**puberty:** chlo!

**hot glue gone wrong:** adrikins i don’t care if he’s your dad he’s not a good one

**hot glue gone wrong:** and in this world, it’s yeet or get yeeted

**hot glue gone wrong:** i’m the former

**puberty:** i guess i’m the latter

**puberty:** am i gonna get yeeted

**hot glue gone wrong:** boy i could NEVER do that to you

**puberty:** :D

**hot glue gone wrong:** still throwing your dad though

**puberty:** i mean.. 

**puberty:** he’d get cured by the miraculous right?? 

**hot glue gone wrong:** who knows 

**puberty:** .. 

**puberty:** you can do it from halfway up 

**hot glue gone wrong:** yES 

**____________________**

**[ mirac-donalds || 8:17am ]**

**viperactive:** fact of the day

**viperactive:** chat is SUPER clingy whenever you hug him

**oh hey its firefox:** sunshine boy

**feline fur-tunate:** hey hugs are great!!

**bugsy malone:** no judgement here

**bugsy malone:** hugs are like

**bugsy malone:** the best

**ryuko:** Oh!

**ryuko:** Would you like a hug as well, petite dame?

**bugsy malone:** a

**bugsy malone:** aghrvafijgdff,,, yea i would please

**ryuko:** :D

**feline fur-tunate:** you guys are adorable :)

**bugsy malone:** you and viper just literally passed us on patrol 

**ryuko:** He is carrying you

**viperactive:** because i love him

**feline fur-tunate:** yes exactly

**oh hey its firefox:** honestly im amazed you two havent moved in together yet

**feline fur-tunate:** who says we haven’t

**viperactive:** yes exactly

**shell-ebration:** i

**shell-ebration:** i really don’t know if you’re serious or not

**local homiesexual:** no one knows anything at this point

**oh hey its firefox:** true

**____________________**  
**____________________**

_many months in the past..._

_(this is just an extra bit lmao)_

**____________________**  
**____________________**

**[ catbug || 3:46am ]**

**is that a beetle?:** hey chat u made like, less puns today are u ok

**purr-fection:** these akumas just don’t give me any inspurration

**purr-fection:** you get me, bugs?

**is that a beetle?:** lol i get u kitty

**purr-fection:** good! i was worried i’d be impawsible to understand

**purr-fection:** luckily you just know everything i say!

**is that a beetle?:** i expected to be free

**is that a beetle?:** bold of me to assume that

**purr-fection:** i’m sorry bugs, but these puns are too clawsome to pawss up!

**is that a beetle?:** oh my god

**purr-fection:** sorry if they’re bugging you

**is that a beetle?:** NOT THE BUG PUNS

**purr-fection:** they’re just the chat’s meow

**purr-fection:** after all, it’s not against the claw to make a few puns, is it?

**is that a beetle?:** chat ur gonna kill me

**purr-fection:** what an unbeelievable accusation!! i could never

**purr-fection:** i WOULD never

**purr-fection:** still, puns are clawfully important to me

**is that a beetle?:** im

**is that a beetle?:** im gonna scream

**purr-fection:** that wouldn’t be very good for your parents

**purr-fection:** i’m sure they wouldn’t be feline amazing in the morning

**is that a beetle?:** aAHHAGHHT

_[ is that a beetle? changed chat name to intense slapstick comedy ]_

**is that a beetle?:** u really are the comedy master but oh my god im going to throw u out of a window

**purr-fection:** how unfurtunate for me

**is that a beetle?:** aAAAAAHHHHHDFSRDH

**is that a beetle?:** im making a chat with the others purely for my own sanity this is too much

**purr-fection:** aw bugs

**purr-fection:** i’m sorry for my impurrfect puns

**is that a beetle?:** ur gonna get Stabbed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit: yo lads so i actually finished something lmao
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/21650665
> 
> read it if you want homies 💪😔


End file.
